We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
