your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
