Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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