No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
