Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
