I love black thongs
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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