There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
It's just like the Real World with babies
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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