no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
