You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Panties = found
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
