make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Boobs speak an international language.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
