New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
