i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
