At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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