I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
