i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My dick has a subreddit
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
