So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
