I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
