i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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