he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
