I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
