Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
