found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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