Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
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