Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
