just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
