Dude my mom stole all your condoms
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize