there's paper in my vomit.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
