Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
How's work?
Spinning.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
