okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
