Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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