Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
The air taste purple.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
