Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
