I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
