singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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