How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
