yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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