worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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