Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
