I must be too annoying 4 u.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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