I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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