i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
