I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The uberlube is also flammable
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
