Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Green mimosas i think yes
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
