I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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