She said her name was "party"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
