On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
