So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
