I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
