Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
