we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
