I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
