you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You are a genius and a whore.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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