I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you didnt know i had herpes?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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