Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
