...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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