But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
