god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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