Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
