thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
That accounts for only three of the penises
Still dying that you shit outside
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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