In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
