Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
