The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
