I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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