return my video game
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
