dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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