I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
